The award was a statue of a hand with a single digit pointing. It sat on a base and rotated in a “Whoopee!” circular motion. The Rigid Digit, Winged Weenie, Wonderful Wiggler, Friendly Phalange and Nifty Knuckle (among numerous other aliases) were given out by hosts Dan Rowan and Dick Martin for the dumbest news item of the week. Recipients included then L.A. Chief of Police Ed Davis for suggesting "gallows" be put in all airports for the hijackers so they could be hung on the spot when caught (actually not such a dumb idea in retrospect), and conservative William F. Buckley for his philosophy, "Never clarify tomorrow, what you can obscure today." The Pentagon won five times.

It may be time for the telecom industry to start giving these out again. But to whom? So many “targets of opportunity.” So little time.

I have a group nomination. The CEOs of the IT industries. The reason: job cutting.

I don’t know about you, but I was dumbfounded recently when former GE CEO, Jack Welch returned his post-employment perks. I was not stunned by the return, but rather the non-reflective and insensitive attitude. After vilifying those who disclosed his largesse by publicizing the contents of his bitter divorce papers, and defending his post-employment package as reasonable given all he had done for shareholders, Mr. Welch gave back most of the package primarily because he was tired of being the poster boy for corporate greed. He expressed no remorse over the fact that GE’s downsizing means money that could retain valuable employees instead was targeted for an almost-billionaire to not have to pay for virtually anything. Thank you, employees of GE who made the profits that paid for the houses, apartments, etc. that Jack built.

It appears the only thing Jack is sorry about is becoming linked in the Hall of Shame with accused criminals like the Rigas family, Enron, WorldCom and Tyco executives.” He represents an insidious and cynical trend in boardrooms in general, but IT and telecommunications ones in particular: Make employees your “most important asset” in annual reports, but treat them as “unfortunate victims.” Conveniently treat them as statistical abstracts instead of people with real problems when right-sizing a floundering company. Please creditors, and arrogant and ignorant Wall Street analysts, but disrespect the people who took/take care of your customers. This type of action is likely to have the dictionary publishers looking to add a new definition for “short-sightedness.”

Let’s add it all up and bring it down to an ILEC executive’s perspective.

Cut thousands of jobs that help customers solve their problems. Put the families of those regrettably laid off in true harms way--losing homes, college educations, health insurance and retirement funds. Get millions for being a genius at returning the company to profitability. Run marketing campaigns emphasizing customer focus. Get upset because fired employees are angry, and wonder why those left behind are unmotivated and disloyal.

By the way, all of this is going on as corporate customers are: experiencing their fifth account manager in a year; can’t find anyone who can fix anything; have watched service quality go to hell; and have no alternatives because they were forced out of business by incumbents “gaming” the regulatory process. Meanwhile, residential customers: can’t get voice over DSL because it would destroy ILEC profitability; can’t get 35 year-old, fully depreciated dysfunctional outside plants replaced because that would increase capex and opex; are using cell phones because they are a better value; could care less about RBOC long distance; and have this annoying habit of complaining to the PUC despite ads saying they come first.

What’s an ILEC to do? When in doubt, blame the regulators.

As if to add insult to injury, all of us rooting for a successful return of TRUST to the service provider/customer relationship read every day about plans for cutting capex even further, and more people being let go. This is something to be grateful for?

We live in very dangerous times for our sector, for the obvious reasons and some that have been hiding in the weeds. We have yet to see the qualitative impact of the quantitative cuts being announced by service providers.

The fat was cut last year. The muscle was cut earlier this year. CIOs tell me bone is being hacksawed now. CIOs also tell me they have long memories. Their adage is, “If you can’t pay attention to me now, don’t expect me to pay you later.” This means don’t cut back on people who service accounts, and implement a corporate accountability model for escalating issues and getting quick satisfaction. “Don’t get mad, get even,” is a phrase heard more and more.

The Flying Fickle Finger of Fate is being pointed by customers in the direction of their service providers. “Whoopee!” It would be good for all concerned if the executives running the industry were a little less concerned about their third homes and corporate jets and were a little more worried about not breaking the Pentagon’s record of receiving the award so many times, and for so many different reasons.

It would be really nice if the sector could become the exemplar of how to recreate trust. Now that would be something to point a finger at.

Peter Bernstein is President of Infonautics Consulting Inc. He can be reached at pb111451@optonline.net.